Now you’re just somebody that I used to know..

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock, living overseas or just don’t listen to Triple J then you’ve probably listened to the new Gotye song "Somebody that I used to know" 101 times whilst playing on repeat over the radio. Although, I confess it’s slightly over-played at the moment, I do love this song! I can relate to it - actually I think many of us have felt this harsh reality in past relationships.

This song talks about a relationship, from both perspectives, which is not functioning - no passion, just being. The couple break up. He is relieved.

The last line of the chorus, which is repeated, is “Now you’re just somebody that I used to know.”

I started thinking about the song and why it affects me so much, and really it’s the chorus which does it. I start to think about my past relationships and friendships which are no-longer. It reminds me of the people who have been in my life for “a reason, a season..” and who have been an important part of my story and personal growth.

Like most of you, I have had close friends or boyfriend/s during different stages of my life and these individuals have shared so much with me, and I with them. Old friends share part of my growing up, partying, drama, boy-crushes and wanderlust. Old boyfriends have shared very intimate and loving experiences, secrets and emotional journeys and discoveries. It’s sad to look back at these amazing (in their own way) relationships and realise that these people are now.. just somebody that I used to know – after all that we have shared.

Flicking back through my dusty pile of diaries at past relationships I’d written about I giggle when reading stories that we shared and even smile at the heartbreak experienced through friendships and deeper relationships. Because really it’s all a learning experience isn’t it. For some relationships it took months to move forward from, for most it took years, but I can definitely say I’m grateful for all of them in one way or another.

Personally, forgiveness and the concept that “every challenge is a lesson” has been my cornerstone for moving on and lovingly being able to look back at relationships and different challenges in my life.

Think about it.. if an ex-boyfriend never made an effort with your family, then this may have made you realise this was important to you. Great. When you mature and move forward from that relationship that will be something you look for in a new partner.

If a good friend was only a good friend when he/she was getting something from you or using you. Fine. Once that relationship has run its course, perhaps it taught to you stick up for yourself and choose friends who are more in line with your values and ideals.

When you can look back on a relationship and realise all of the great things that it’s taught you, I’ve personally found it easier to let go and forgive, and ultimately look back at those relationships with fond memories. Someone can’t give you something they don’t have to give, and it’s really not fair to ask that someone be something they are not. You can only be responsible for yourself and how you grow and move forward.

It sucks that these past friends and boyfriends are now just people that I used to know, but these amazing people helped shape me, they helped me realise my true potential and helped me understand my true value. So, I genuinely thank my old friends for teaching me about myself and when I think of them now I can honestly say that I go straight for the fun memories and remember the good times – which is a nice way to remember friendships which were so special, even if the sun has set on them for now.

Do you find it easy to let go of past relationships? Do you have any tips or ideas which make it easier to look back with fondness instead of fury? Love to hear what you have to say..

Peace out!

Love catherine @ venus&eve